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Dr Watford's Casebook - Issue 3

Dr Watford's Casebook - Issue 3
Mrs Dr Watford really doesn`t like me getting too proverbial (it`s not good for my health apparently) but I can`t help but think if life is like a box of chocolates then predicting the Watford strike partnership each game must be like sticking your hand into a bulging bag of Woolworths pick and mix. Blindfolded.

5 games in, 5 different strike forces. Strikers on for wingers, wingers down the middle. And it`s not even as it the Good Ship Boothroyd has to choose from a half sucked murray mint, a mis-shaped flump marshmallow or a handful of out of date chocolate footballs.

King and Henderson, Priskin and King, Kabba and Priskin, King and Kabba, Hoskins on the Left Flank, Kabba on as a winger… And now, as I type, Hoskins and Priskin take to the field at Roots Hall in the Carling Cup! Heaven forbid.

In fact, there`s been more switching of partners and swapping of positions in the first 5 games of the season down at WD18 than at the Hertfordshire Swingers Associations Annual Christmas Bash (or so I`ve heard!!!).

Keys in a pot and all that.

Yet it seems Sir Aidy is still not sure of his best 2. What`s more, there`s fresh speculation in the red tops that the Horns are about to splash out £3.5m for Ellington (a guy who`s already turned us down twice), summer bids for Helguson and Campbell disintegrated faster than a bottle of Hawaiian Tropic oil in the Spanish sun and well, poor, poor Darius - he doesn`t even know if he`s coming or going.

And then there`s Aidy`s fascination with Colins John - The Dutchman has fallen so far down the pecking order at Craven Cottage that Brian McBride`s badly dislocated knee has more chance of a first team spot under Sanchez. That`ll teach him.

But, here at VitalWatford, we can`t help but think that we don`t really need a new targetman this season. The current crop are plenty good enough for this division and should get the job done. With 2 in 3 in the league from spot, Marlon has already shown glimpses he is gonna be a threat at 10-1 to the bookies this year, Hendo brings bags of Braveheart spirit and has interested more clubs than a cheap cabaret act, Kabbs has a record better than 1 in 3 at this level and pace to burn whilst Priskin, well the new kid off the East European Block needs to find his international shooting boots at club level.

And then there`s Hoskins. I kinda think that maybe, just maybe, Sir Aidy is desperately digging through his office drawers looking for the purchase receipt to take back for refund at Rotherham. His BOGOF deal is paying dividends anyway with the early form of 'makeweight` Williamson but give it time - maybe like Samson, Hoskin`s new blond hairdo will do the trick. Let`s not forget that Celtic were reportedly gonna flash £1m in used Scottish notes down at Millmoor of Hoskins.

After all, where there`s a Will there`s a way and all that!

As the good Doctor says, do we really need to buy up more firepower? Surely it`s just a case of getting the partnership right. Just ask Fred and Ginger, Torvil and Dean and er, Keith Harris and Orvil. Laurel and Hardy never paid over the odds to bring in Charlie Chaplin to boost their slipstick and 'mix it up a bit`.

And let`s face it, we`ve other areas of the park where we look a bit short.

I almost spat out my freshly prepared sangria all over Mrs Dr Watford`s new summer dress (the one with the lovely floral pattern) when I saw Carlisle had been let go for just £200k. Just 200k for the World`s brainiest footballer. There`s no degree of logic to the transfer and Burnley have committed daylight robbery at the Vic in my book.

I can`t help but think that Big Clarke was a far longer term prospect than Matt Jackson (who has yet to show his 'Malky` qualities), Danny S will surely miss a few games on African Nations Cup duty and JDM, well the American will need some 'time out` at some point after his long hot summer on tour in the States.

And I remain as unconvinced as a stern faced Parisian traffic cop looking through the baggage of a poor English tourist, that young centre back, Cedric Avinel, has got what it takes to cut in the first eleven (even as back up) But. hey, Ce`st La Vie.

And there`s the need for a short term fix in the middle of the park whilst Williams and Francis come back to full fitness. Scott Sinclair at Chelsea has been rumoured, so to Tommy Black and Keith Gillespie (both then signed on the dreaded dotted elsewhere) so the Good Ship Boothroyd knows he has to try steady the waters but nothing yet has materialised.

I agree, panic buying is not the answer - Sietes, Griffiths, Ashikodi, Devaney and Cavelli lay testament to that but a striker, is that really the answer to our mixed back start to the season?

Then again goals win games. With that in mind, I can just about see Aidy`s point.

But please for the good Doctors sanity can we see a bit of consistency against the Tractor Boys.

Writer:Dr Watford
Date:Wednesday August 29 2007
Time: 11:23AM

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14 West Ham 34 10 8 16 38 -15
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