The Alternate Awards

Forgot the Official Awards, these are the awards that matter, my alternate awards for this season. Twenty four in total, and very few of the normal boring categories you find...

Player of The Season
Despite actually voting Henderson, Shittu and Lee for player of the season, I've decided to concur with the majority who voted for Tommy Smith. My reasons for not picking him to begin with were that he played well beginning and end, but was poor in the middle. Well, Henderson has been good to begin with and gotten less and less influential, so to set the record straight: Tommy Smith

Worst Player of the Season
Anyone wanna bet? This one is of course very predictable, and very much Jordan Stewart whose season is summed up and the shocking free kick he took versus Barnsley having come off the bench. Straight into the Rookery.
Jordan Stewart

Best Performance
With King, Johnson and Henderson on fire, Coventry never stood a chance under Iain Dowie and we dominated for ninety minutes, Tamas Priskin even missed two sitters which would have made it five.
Coventry Away

Worst Performance
Relegated side, at home, no shots, no goals, no passion, lost 1-0. Sums it up well
Scunthorpe

Best Away Ground
Easy access, good view, good atmosphere, easy to get in and out of, a 3-1 win and good, cheap food. Oh, and bottle tops allowed!
Scunthorpe, Glanford Park

Worst Away Ground
Looked great, but the surrounding area was full of over-priced food, inside was no better, but I didn't get that far due to the queues, lack of hot water, lack of facilities and peculiar entrance.
Charlton Athletic, The Valley

Best Cornish Pasty on the Road
Unsurprising winner really! Very tasty, had two to make sure though!
Plymouth Argyle

Worst Food
Having queued for the best part of an hour outside a chippy, I was presented with a soogy pie and scalding lumps of boiled potato. All members of the party dumped their 'food.
Charlton Athletic

Comic Moment
Dion Dublin's Donkey kick thing versus Norwich at home - toward his own goal!

Best Atmosphere
Hull, Home, Play Offor
Leicester, Homeor
Coventry, Away

Worst Atmosphere
Scunthorpe Home

Best Tackle
The one that landed Lee Williamson a three match ban at Scunthorpe for a two footed stamped effort.

Must do better next year
Nathan Ellington For the best part of four million, you expect more, but I think he will get more time, he's shown flashes, but four goals just aint cutting the mustard.

At last!
Jordan Stewart and Steve Kabba notching their first Watford strikes, against Wolves, home and away respectively.

Worst Barnet
Leigh Bromby, Mat Sadler, Darius Henderson, Jay DeMerit and John Joe O'Toole

Most Annoying Opposition Manager
Neil Warnock and Phil Brown

Most Annoying Opposition Player
Bo Myhill - how did he save Sadler's hooked volley? Git.

Waste of time Award
Collins John

Why do I bother Moment?
Barnsley at home as readers will know, I just gave up and didn't write a report.

The game I intended to go to, but thank god I didn't!
Hull away

Please come back, all is forgiven
Marlon King, Keith Burkinshaw and Adam Johnson

Best Rant
'I'm watching you No.22 you scummy maggot!'
Said my someone sitting near me, who turned out to be quite nice, but passionate.

Mr Passionate
Other than the above bloke, I will say myself. In particular at home to QPR where I informed Tommy Smith he was a 'so-and-so' from the top of the Rookery and promptly threw my notepad into the row below and my pen into one even further below and some woman's head.

Mr In-passionate
The bloke who sits next to me who throughout everything manages to sit there, hands clasped for 90 minutes every week.

Strangest Fan
The one at Blackpool who seemed to be on day release, fitting in as many incest jibes at possible in a minute then grinning childishly before combing his hair.

Pure Passion Moment
Hugging my brother and a stranger at home to Cardiff in a random row having left our own seats in injury time. Jobi McAnuff promptly levelled whilst the girls next to us wondered why I was so happy!

Finally, the Lloyd Doyley moment for the season
His mazy run at home to Scunthorpe.

Here's to victory at Hull!

Tom Bodell